Finding Voice Through Art: A Journey Through Chronic Illness
Finding Expression Amidst Medical Turmoil
During my battle with HER2+, N+ Stage II Breast Cancer in 2019, my artwork became a reflection of the voice I felt I’d lost. Depicting women without mouths, it symbolized the silence I experienced during that tumultuous year. Despite raising concerns about unsettling symptoms like vibrations, numbness, and constant forgetfulness, I felt dismissed by the medical community, floating helplessly through treatments and side effects.
The End of Treatment: A New Beginning or a Continuing Struggle?
As treatment ended, I hoped for a return to ‘normalcy.’ However, exhaustion, fatigue, and a myriad of other issues persisted. Chronic illness became my new reality, a reality that I had seen consume others for years in my work as a social worker. My family witnessed my struggles firsthand, understanding the depth of my challenges.
Art as Sanctuary: Navigating a New Normal
Art emerged as my saving grace amidst the chaos of chronic illness. It provided a sanctuary of expression, allowing me to cope with the challenges I faced daily. From the couch, I could draw, finding solace and purpose in the strokes of my pen.
Unveiling the True Diagnosis: Multiple Sclerosis
In 2022, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. Finally, the source of my ongoing battles with daily functioning became clear. However, navigating the SSDI system proved challenging, highlighting the flaws I had seen as a social worker.
Invisible Struggles: The Hidden Impact of Chronic Illness
Unlike cancer, my struggles with multiple sclerosis are not visible to the naked eye. They hide in MRIs, forgetfulness, and mobility issues. Despite appearing “normal” on the outside, I grapple with a myriad of symptoms that affect my daily life. It is completely normal for me to forget names, dates, and appointments… and some days, I can’t even tell you what year it is.
Art as Connection: Speaking Beyond Words
Art has the remarkable ability to transport us emotionally and evoke memories of simpler times. It serves as a conduit for exploring our emotional depths and finding solace amidst adversity. Through its expression of joy, sadness, and inspiration, art connects us all on a deeper level, speaking when words fail.
Conclusion: Finding Strength and Beauty Through Art
Reflecting on my journey, I find solace in the resilience and beauty that emerged from hardship. Art has allowed me to navigate the complexities of chronic illness and find meaning in the midst of chaos. Through its universal language, art transcends barriers, connecting us all in our shared humanity. In times of uncertainty, it remains a steadfast companion, speaking when there are no words to express the turmoil within.
